J: "Big Mom said people go in tanning beds without their clothes."
Me: " As jay birds."
J: "So she WAS telling the truth."
While reading a short story on Jackie Robison for school...
J: " Hey Mom, listen to this...Jackie Robinson was offered a job at a place called Cock Full of Nuts."
Me: " Spell that first word, please?"
Me: " It's pronounced 'chalk'."
J: "You know that song, 'I think it's gonna be a long long time'?"
Me: "Yes, by Elton John. What are the rest of the words? I start humming...trying to remember the words.
J: "Thise are the only words I know. But I always think of that song when I'm taking tests at school...cause you know, tests take forever."
3 hours later...cause I've been taking my brain for lyrics...
Me: "Rocketman....burning down the streets up here alone."
Overheard as a little boy and his parents walked into Loves in Mississippi...
"Momma, Ima gonna go in here and get me a girlfriend."
To every song that comes on the radio...
J: "Ohhhh....I know this song!"
J: "Why are you staring so closely at the road?"
Me:"I'm just leaning up like this because my back hurts."
J:"Oh, I thought you had gone crazy or something."
J: "How come all the music on the radio is hood music or country?"
Me: "I guess we are in gangster/hillbilly territory. Just put a cd in."
As Miranda Lambert sings, "All kinds of kinds"....
J: "Oh God, a cross dresser."
After he lets a big fart...
J: "That was a rump shaker!"
Inner monologue as I am driving through Pine Bluff, AR...
"Holy mother of God! What is that smell? Rotten vegetables? A thousand people farting rotten vegetables at the same time?"
On the phone with my mother...
Big Mom: " Where are you?"
Me: " I don't know...somewhere near Pine Bluff."
Big Mom: " Have you went through Pine Bluff yet?
Me: "I don't know. It's dark and there are no signs."
Big Mom: "You will know Pine Bluff...it stinks."
Me:"Like an asshole?"
Big Mom: "Yes."
Me: "Then I passed through about ten minutes ago."
Big Mom: "You are in a rough part of the state...get out of there as fast as you can."
Me: "I can only go so fast."
Big Mom: "I know, but get out of there as fast as you can without speeding."
Me: "OK, Mom."
At 10 PM...
J: "If we were home, I would be in bed right now. Either that or I would be talking to my friends telling them I'm about to go to bed."