All of these friendly reminders of Christmas has got me thinking about the etiquette of re-gifting. Specifically, is it ok to re-gift a sex swing?
Actually, I didn't get it as a gift so technically it might not be re-gifting. It would be me just giving it away. OK, here's the new question: is it kosher to give away your only used once sex swing?
Actually, I didn't get it as a gift so technically it might not be re-gifting. It would be me just giving it away. OK, here's the new question: is it kosher to give away your only used once sex swing?
This isn't one of those fancy screw into the ceiling type swings (I couldn't afford that one), it basically looks like backpack straps that you put your legs through and is meant to be used over your doorframe.
I really don't know how to describe it. Just google it to get an idea...
I came across this gem at an all girls party where a stranger comes to your house with a bunch of dildos, vibrators, and butt plugs and spreads them out on your living room floor while you get drunk and play fun games like pin the penis on the hot guy. You are also encouraged to tell embarrassing sex stories.
It's really fun when you invite prudish people to these parties because they get really drunk because they are so embarrassed by all the anal beads being passed around. Then come to find out, these bitches are closet freaks and you can never look at Mrs. Prim and Proper the same way after learning that five minutes before the party she was sitting on her husband's face. People actually tell you this kind of shit at these parties.
I will have to admit, I felt kind of awkward because I only knew one person there and wasn't ready to divulge any embarrassing sex stories to a group of ladies I had never met. Now if you are my friend, on the other hand, I will force you to listen to embarrassing sex stuff all the time.
As luck would have it, just a week before the party my son and his friend had found my dildo that was (I thought) safely hidden away in a shaving kit on top of the hutch on my dresser. I felt comfortable telling that story because it didn't involve queefing. On a side note, I think children have a built in dildo finding device because just about everyone there that night chimed in, "OMG, that has happened to me too!"
My son's friend had just moved into the neighborhood and I had not met his parents, so I was forced to tell a complete stranger that her son was probably going to be traumatized forever because of my dildo. She was actually really cool about it and she is also the person I'm thinking about giving the sex swing to so this story is about to come full circle people.
When the brochures were being passed around, I bypassed all the dildos (this is the most I have ever said dildo in my life...I can't believe I am talking so much about dildos...sorry Mom), even though I had thrown mine away, there was no way I could ever use it again after seeing my son standing on the dresser waving it around saying, "WHAT is this?", and honed in on the sex swing.
THAT looks fun, I thought to myself as I wrote out a check for way too much money.
I learned the hard way that door frame sex swings equate door knobs being repeatedly banged into your kidneys...and your arms and legs get tired from being all strapped up. Hell, I don't know maybe we were doing it wrong, whatever the case, it looked more fun in the pictures.
So the swing was retired to a pile in the corner of my closet gathering dust under a pile of shoes.
I hadn't even thought about the swing in years until my neighbor had an unfortunate accident that makes finding a position for sex almost impossible. And then a light bulb went off in my head. I should give her my sex swing! Because that's what good neighbors do. Fuck the lending a cup of sugar or a few eggs, you really want to prove that you are there for someone you enable them to comfortably have sex with their husband!
Problem solved, I've talked myself into it.
She's getting the swing, her husband is getting laid, and I totally made you google door frame sex swing. You're welcome.
I really don't know how to describe it. Just google it to get an idea...
I came across this gem at an all girls party where a stranger comes to your house with a bunch of dildos, vibrators, and butt plugs and spreads them out on your living room floor while you get drunk and play fun games like pin the penis on the hot guy. You are also encouraged to tell embarrassing sex stories.
It's really fun when you invite prudish people to these parties because they get really drunk because they are so embarrassed by all the anal beads being passed around. Then come to find out, these bitches are closet freaks and you can never look at Mrs. Prim and Proper the same way after learning that five minutes before the party she was sitting on her husband's face. People actually tell you this kind of shit at these parties.
I will have to admit, I felt kind of awkward because I only knew one person there and wasn't ready to divulge any embarrassing sex stories to a group of ladies I had never met. Now if you are my friend, on the other hand, I will force you to listen to embarrassing sex stuff all the time.
As luck would have it, just a week before the party my son and his friend had found my dildo that was (I thought) safely hidden away in a shaving kit on top of the hutch on my dresser. I felt comfortable telling that story because it didn't involve queefing. On a side note, I think children have a built in dildo finding device because just about everyone there that night chimed in, "OMG, that has happened to me too!"
My son's friend had just moved into the neighborhood and I had not met his parents, so I was forced to tell a complete stranger that her son was probably going to be traumatized forever because of my dildo. She was actually really cool about it and she is also the person I'm thinking about giving the sex swing to so this story is about to come full circle people.
When the brochures were being passed around, I bypassed all the dildos (this is the most I have ever said dildo in my life...I can't believe I am talking so much about dildos...sorry Mom), even though I had thrown mine away, there was no way I could ever use it again after seeing my son standing on the dresser waving it around saying, "WHAT is this?", and honed in on the sex swing.
THAT looks fun, I thought to myself as I wrote out a check for way too much money.
I learned the hard way that door frame sex swings equate door knobs being repeatedly banged into your kidneys...and your arms and legs get tired from being all strapped up. Hell, I don't know maybe we were doing it wrong, whatever the case, it looked more fun in the pictures.
So the swing was retired to a pile in the corner of my closet gathering dust under a pile of shoes.
I hadn't even thought about the swing in years until my neighbor had an unfortunate accident that makes finding a position for sex almost impossible. And then a light bulb went off in my head. I should give her my sex swing! Because that's what good neighbors do. Fuck the lending a cup of sugar or a few eggs, you really want to prove that you are there for someone you enable them to comfortably have sex with their husband!
Problem solved, I've talked myself into it.
She's getting the swing, her husband is getting laid, and I totally made you google door frame sex swing. You're welcome.