This morning, she woke me up before my alarm went off. Before I could even fully process that I was awake, she had settled down in my shoulders. What started out as a dull ache turned into full fledged pain in about three seconds. I did what I always do when faced with someone who annoys the fuck out of me. I counted to ten. Ten deep breaths in and out. Ten seconds was all she needed to take the burning hot, metal fire poker that is her essence and trail it down the bones of my arms. I tried to ignore her. I turned over onto my side to get more comfortable and she jumped into my hips. Both hips...at once.
I rolled on to my back only to give her better access to my left leg. She delighted in taking a painfully slow journey down my leg, played around in my knee for awhile and then took a little nap in my big toe. I looked at the clock and saw that she has only been here for ten minutes and hoped maybe...just maybe she will let me fall back into a painless sleep.
"OK, fibro, let's make a deal," I say to her. "Give me an hour. One hour of relief. You haven't left the house in a month. I've only had four hours of sleep. Deal? Pretty Please? With sugar on top?"
I wanted to scream at her, "Get the fuck out, Bitch! How much more can you take from me? Every day you steal my sleep, you leave me in a constant state of agony and exhaustion! GET THE FUCK OUT for God's sake!"
But I've found getting angry only guides her to more places in my body to torture. So I was nice and I was calm and this time, I was rewarded. But not for an hour. Selfish bitch. After tricking me into believing she had left, she snuck back in to my wrist.
"No, No, No! An hour. The deal was for an hour!"
For a moment she was gone again and then, jokester that she is, she slid into my middle finger. So I did what came natural, I held that finger in the air, smiled sweetly and said, "Yeah, fuck you too, fibromyalgia."