Five minutes later, L comes in to show me some pictures of how she wants to re-decorate her room. I put my laptop aside and look at the pics then listen as she reads me some ideas she found on the internet...all cool stuff we will probably do later and I will blog about (thanks L for providing me some material!). So I tell her to email me the pictures she wants printed and she leaves. I grab my laptop and resume writing.
In comes N asking me when she can sign up for the SAT. We talk for awhile and I read her what I have written so far because although she won't admit it, she is an excellent writer, and I value her opinion. "Hmmm, sounds like you", was her response to my witty soon to be posted blog. I took that as a compliment and happily typed away.
I was really on a roll, creative juices flowing everywhere when my bedroom door flew open and J ran in.
"Mom, can I use your bathroom? I REALLY think I am lactose intolerant."
"Is someone in your bathroom?"
"Yes, I've really got to go! Like, I have been farting some real stinky ones."
"Yeah, go ahead...don't forget to wash your hands."
He goes into the bathroom and all I hear are grunts and groans. He is really making a production out of taking a shit.
"J, calm down in there."
"Mom, my stomach hurts bad...ahhh...whew, that stinks!...ahhh" Diarrhea sounds abound.
OK, now my train of thought has been re-directed. Is J getting sick?
Toilet flushes, water runs.
"Mom, that is the worst toilet paper ever. My butt cheeks feel raw."
"Shut up, J. The toilet paper was free."
"Yeah, but it really hurt my butt."
"Can we not talk about this right now, I am trying to write."
"OK, but that was the worst diarrhea ever."
"You say that every time you have diarrhea."
"Yeah. What are you writing about?"
"Nothing, son. I am not writing at all. I am listening to you talk about your poop and before that I was listening to your poop coming out of your butt...and now...I have writers block because your poop and all the sounds you were making have traumatized me."
"Ha ha, that's funny." And he leaves.
And I still haven't finished my witty blog...