*DO practice good hand hygiene...yup washing my hands every five minutes
*DO cover your cough or sneeze...no problem, have always done that
*DO work from home if possible...no job, so safe on that one
*DO cancel elective medical appointments...does this include my psychiatrist?
*DO move away from others who cough or sneeze...you cough or sneeze in front of me, I'm gonna throat punch you
*DO wipe down all surfaces....doing this in 30 minute increments
*DO start buying a 60-90 day supply of drugs....this does not apply to recreational drugs...just fyi
*DO buy a 4 week supply of food....seriously? That shit would be gone by day 2. I'm about to start looking for dandelion recipes, let the kids eat that instead of chips
*DO eat a balanced diet...see above....dandelions
*DO avoid too much alcohol....not really okay with this
*DO get enough sleep....insomnia so yeah I'm screwed here
*DO participate in social distancing....I've been doing this for years now
*DO clean your phone with disinfectant wipes....googled that and Clorox wipes will fuck up your phone
*DO wipe down doorknobs and light switches....Lysol baby
*DO go outside and get regular exercise....maybe
*DO self quarantine...I'm trying, but everyone wants to come in to my disinfected room to talk....and then I have to disinfect all over again after they leave. It's getting really tiring, all this cleaning...and I may not have proper ventilation for all the Lysol that I'm spraying
*DON'T panic...not gonna happen....I'm gonna panic
*DON'T travel....if you say so, but I would really like to be on some beach...surely salt water and sand is immune to Covid 19? Or a cure for it??
*DON'T interact with your pets if you think you have symptoms....My pets are always pissed at me for some reason or other so we are good there
*DON'T shake hands or give hugs...I''m not a hugger unless I really like you and even then sometimes I will just give you a side hug...,are side hugs safer? I don't know, but I'm probably gonna wash my hands after I side hugged your ass
*DON'T go to public places like gyms....yeah tell that to my husband, who is at the gym right now...I think he is secretly trying to kill me by bringing the virus back to the house
To further entertain myself I created a list of all of my shit to bequeath to people in case I do expire from C-19. It's a short and sad list.
*Shoes-whoever wears a size 5
*Car/House-that shit can just go back to the bank since they aren't paid off
*Noelle's stuff-cemetery....piling it up like a junk yard
*Granny's dining room table-Blu
*Underwear- lol, I don't wear underwear
*All the shit in the garage-Melinda, or just burn it
*Hats-Amber and Monica
*Sex toys-already made Melinda promise to throw that shit away...not that I have any...
*Pictures-Jack and Lilli
I probably have more shit but can't really think of it right now because my mind is too occupied with thoughts of potentially being quarantined for months. Just hitting the high notes here.
*Disclaimer...this post is not meant to butt hurt anyone...it's all one big joke. I am taking this pandemic seriously...To all my loves, be safe, be wise, be drunk...oh wait that was one of the don'ts...okay don't be drunk, but be that other stuff...