My smoking habit began, unfortunately, in high school. My friends smoked. I lectured them about the dangers of smoking and told them how gross it was.
"Have you ever smoked a cigarette?", they asked.
"No, I haven't smoked! I hate smoking."
"Then how do you know it's gross?"
"I just do."
"You should try it."
"OK. I will try it."
Damn peer pressure! I succumbed every single time!
But alas, it is time to give them up. The love affair with the Marlboro Man has got to end. My health has got to take priority over my addiction. What I really find crazy about my decision to quit smoking is that...I am scared to quit! I miss my next cigarette even as I type this. The thought of never smoking again fills me with dread and anxiety. How fucked up is that?
For those of you that have never smoked, I know that I can't even begin to make you understand the control that cigarettes have over me. You ex-smokers can probably relate.
Today I started taking Chantix. I know that I cannot go cold turkey and my previous attempts to slowly cut down and stop smoking on my own have all been futile. So...over the course of the next few weeks I will keep you appraised of all the fucked up dreams I am having and how many people I almost kill. Buckle up kiddos, it's going to be a rough ride!